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View Full Version : screwing with telemarketers!!!


Mike Chambers
May 3rd, 2008, 01:22 AM
thought you guys might enjoy this. a few days ago i found a little box with a bunch of spare electrical components, and after a few minutes of looking through it i saw a couple things that gave me a great idea!

basically i just built a little circuit that lets me have all kinds of fun with the telephone line. i'm surprised it worked, i don't have much experience with making circuits but it is pretty simple really.

i drew this schematic if you want to make it... it's bad i know. i did it in ms paint.

http://rubbermallet.org/phone_fun_schematic.gif

as you can see, it's you don't need much:
- a transformer (doesn't need to be exactly 1k-ohm. it should be fine if its anywhere from like 600 to 1200 or so. the important part is making sure the wire coil ratio is equal on both sides, 1:1 and make sure it's an 8-ohm seconday tap)
- a 9VDC power source (you'll want at least 600 mA or so)
- a switch
- two 150 ohm resistors.

you'll also have to butcher a phone cord with an RJ11 jack on it, and you'll need two cables with standard 1/8-inch headphone jacks on one end of each. (you could take them from a couple broken or crappy headphones if you want)...... btw, the transformer i used is item #273-1380 from radio shack.

what it'll do if you haven't figured it out yet, is let you run ANY audio you want directly into the phone line from a sound card or any other audio source with a headphone out or line-out. PLUS if you flip the switch on, it can record all the audio going over the line with your sound card's mic-in :)

you might have to run the mic-in lead through a pre-amp first. even with mic gain turned on in the sound card, you could barely hear it until i did that. oh and make SURE you put those resistors on, or you'll get a nice loud feedback loop!

so basically i can think of three real uses for it. the first one (and this is awesome) is i've been using a regular phone for making skype calls by plugging the RJ11 from the circuit right into an old phone! :cool::cool::cool:

the other is plugging the RJ11 right into the phone jack on the wall and screwing with telemarketers. after you answer and they say they're with so-and-so and want all your money, just say "i'd be happy to talk with you, i'm sorry can i put you on hold for a moment?"

then you have a your winamp playlist set up with a bunch of terrible elevator music and you could have a synthesized computer voice interrupt now and then and say "we appreciate you holding. the estimated wait time is currently 43 minutes" or something like that. see how long it takes them to hang up.

third use would be recording phone convos to a sound file if you wanted to for something.

a couple notes... the 9 VDC power source is generally only needed if you are using a regular corded phone. if you use a cordless phone or any other one with it's own power source it does not need this.

the way the phone line works is they send a ~9 VDC signal through the line when the line is in use. if you don't do that, a standard corded phone won't do a thing when you try to use it.

come to think of it, you might want to put a 2-way switch there that lets you bypass the battery because you for sure don't want the telco's power on the line going through the battery... unless you like explosions.

have fun!

Jorg
May 3rd, 2008, 01:46 AM
what about recording one telemarketeer and playing that when the next one calls :D

Mike Chambers
May 3rd, 2008, 01:54 AM
hahaha wow, i am gonna do that. that's awesome!

Yzzerdd
May 3rd, 2008, 08:10 AM
Wow, very cool! Too bad I dont understand that chart at all. Well, maybe just a TINY bit.

Not a problem though, my Packard Bell(and almost all Packards) came with a special modem that lets me record calls, music on hold, use it as a telephone, etc.

Never thought of doing that thing with telemarketers, though, gonna have to try it.

--Ryan

IBMMuseum
May 3rd, 2008, 09:55 PM
...the other is plugging the RJ11 right into the phone jack on the wall and screwing with telemarketers...

What's a "telemarketer" (I'm on the Do Not Call Registry) ?...

Mad-Mike
May 3rd, 2008, 10:34 PM
Dude, you just one upped my way to screw with telemarketers.......

A few years back, when I still lived in Alabama, one of those salesrats decided to call mid-day, and kept bugging my mom, so she had me answer the phone next time........

So, I'm sitting in my room, playing Grand Theft Auto 2, and have a huge braw going up, cars in flames, police shouting for me to "surrender" and "come out with your hands up", with fires, explosions, tanks, screaming people ("OH IT'S AWFUL!!!" "OH THE HORROR" "AYEEEE"), going on, you get the point....

Anyway, sure as day, the telemarketer called again (same one three times), I talked to them for less than a minute, totally pissed that they were getting in the way of my GTA tirade, so I stuck the receiver up to the speakers and started blasting....needless to say, they never called back.

As for my next round with telemarketers....I have an old phone I'm tempted to stick a 1/4" guitar input jack onto and start "shredding" to the telemarketers with some good ole' Slayer, maybe I should just use this and play back some feedback and noise for our pals at the $99.95 shop.

Mike Chambers
May 6th, 2008, 02:36 AM
Dude, you just one upped my way to screw with telemarketers.......

A few years back, when I still lived in Alabama, one of those salesrats decided to call mid-day, and kept bugging my mom, so she had me answer the phone next time........

So, I'm sitting in my room, playing Grand Theft Auto 2, and have a huge braw going up, cars in flames, police shouting for me to "surrender" and "come out with your hands up", with fires, explosions, tanks, screaming people ("OH IT'S AWFUL!!!" "OH THE HORROR" "AYEEEE"), going on, you get the point....

Anyway, sure as day, the telemarketer called again (same one three times), I talked to them for less than a minute, totally pissed that they were getting in the way of my GTA tirade, so I stuck the receiver up to the speakers and started blasting....needless to say, they never called back.

As for my next round with telemarketers....I have an old phone I'm tempted to stick a 1/4" guitar input jack onto and start "shredding" to the telemarketers with some good ole' Slayer, maybe I should just use this and play back some feedback and noise for our pals at the $99.95 shop.

hahahahaha that would be so awesome... the guitar phone thing. omg, not even for telemarketers. i would jam every time anybody called.

"CHECK THIS RIFF OUT GRANDMA"

barythrin
May 6th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Not to drift the topic too much (phone pranks) but my friend had this done which was fairly clever and we did have to think about it for a bit figuring out if they actually had access to a pbx or something or if they were just goofing around.

When he worked at blockbuster the phone rang, he answers and him and another guy are both saying "Welcome to blockbuster"+"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut" and they both sat there "but you called me..." "..no.. my phone rang and you called me".

Anyway, if you have 2 phone lines and a conference button you too can go ahead and just have them order a pizza or better yet have them call some number to report telemarketting abuse.

rachael24
May 6th, 2008, 08:50 AM
I think these are hilarious...Keep em coming!

hargle
May 6th, 2008, 10:14 AM
one of my favorites when called to switch long distance companies was to tell them that I didn't have a phone. that really threw them for a loop.

squirrel-steam
May 21st, 2008, 06:02 PM
When I was at my friends house, his sister's boyfriend answered the phone, it was a telemarketer, and he just said "go %$#@ yourself"
(sorry if that is too inappropriate)

I didn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes.

Anonymous Coward
May 21st, 2008, 07:25 PM
Now if you could write some software to interpret the tones of a touch-tone and have it dial something and ring with Skype, then I'd be really impressed. You'd probably need an external power adapter to drive it though.