Winner?

[Terry Yager]

Since we all seem to be interested in religious issues, I have a question of my own (sorry, we don't have a 'Religion' forum, so I thought this was close enough).

--T

[Erik]

I don't understand the question. . . ;)

[Terry Yager]

It's a trick question, actually...Jesus & Buddha are both non-violent pacifists. They would never fight one another.

--T

[carlsson]

How about they compete who can pick up that chick on the other side of the bar, then?

[Terry Yager]

Oh, Jesus would win that contest, hands down! (Have you ever seen statues of Buddha vs. pix of J.C.)?

--T

[carlsson]

Maybe she don't fancy guys with a beard, and rather hang around with an obese, but well shaved guy.

I read about a 30 year old Brazilian football player who has been on tour in the European teams for a couple of years. He says he just got a new agent, Jesus Christ:

- My previous agents have always promised a lot. Jesus doesn't give you bullshit, only love. "I believe in you if you believe in me" says Jesus.

I wonder if Jesus also is getting a share of the sign-on bonus when the player gets a new team?

[Terry Yager]

In a good ol' fashion knock-down-drag-out, Buddha would have a distinct weight advantage, but if push came to shove, Jesus could always escape by running out onto the middle of the nearest lake...

--T

[Terry Yager]

Trust me on this, carlsson...I've sported a full set of chin-whiskerz for about 35 yearz now, and 'chicks dig it'...(of course, my middle-age beer-gut seems to put 'em off a little theze dayz).

--T

[atari2600a]

Terry, I'm slightly offended, but at the same time laughing of dissapointment...at you.

I'm Muslim, so that that would explain the offendment part, but the dissapointment is a result of your lack of knowledge of what the word "Allah" means. It is simply the arabic word for "God". Any Arab Christian or Jew would pray to "Allah". It's the American media makes the word "Allah" sound like "Tiki Shiki Evil 6-armed Goddess Thing".

By the way, you forgot to add Monty Python & Chuck Norris to the list.

[Terry Yager]

I just attempted to include the three major religionz, and a few smaller cults in the survey. No intention to offend anyone personally. My poll was aimed at ridiculing all sects equally (including my own). And yes, I realize that the words 'Allah' & 'Yahweh' both trace thier roots back to the same proto-root word (hawa, meaning 'that which is'), just as Arabs & Jews both trace thier lineage back to Father Abraham. (We're all related, under the skin).

--T

[atari2600a]

...so you're saying there's no Monty Python & Chuck Norris sects!? I am further dissapointed. :p

[Terry Yager]

Yes, and there are those who believe that 'Clapton is Ghawd', but there wasn't enough room to include all the cults...

--T

[Erik]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster would take 'em all!

[atari2600a]

Where have I heard that before....Attack of The Show?

[CP/M User]

The answer for that question is None-of-the-Above eventually
their all RIP & the World keeps on moving on, so the Earth is
the real winner, since everyone returns to it someday!

Though for how long - all things aparantely come to an end.

CP/M User.

[80sFreak]

I'm Muslim, so that that would explain the offendment part, but the dissapointment is a result of your lack of knowledge of what the word "Allah" means. It is simply the arabic word for "God". Any Arab Christian or Jew would pray to "Allah". It's the American media makes the word "Allah" sound like "Tiki Shiki Evil 6-armed Goddess Thing".

Actually, IMHO, I think the Muslims in general make themselves look bad when they riot and murder people over a *cartoon*. Or forcing women to wear a Niqab thereby "removing" their face and taking away any sense of humanity that person had. :( I saw a group of women a few weeks ago at CostCo with that garb on and one had their son who was wearing regular clothes.. It disgusts me to see the man doing what he wants but the woman have to look totally inferior.

Cheers,

80sFreak

[atari2600a]

There is little to no oppression to Muslim women! They where that chothing because they choose to. Ever have to go w/o wearing underwear for a day? Same feeling. It's something that's grown accustom to, like wearing glasses or an undershirt; you just feel naked w/o it. The "oppression" is mainly the American media trying to pull in a big paycheck w/ a good story.

Read the 10 Commandments in the eariest English translation. Right there it says clearly No idols. In Judaism & Islam (& Protestant Christians, pre-20th century), this Included any statues, paintings, etc. of religious figures.

Look it up, in the time of Martin Luther, statues & Paintings of Jesus, Virgin Mary, etc. where burned, as school children circled around, reciting the 10 commandments.

(Damn, I hope the feds don't get on my @$$ about this...)

[80sFreak]

There is little to no oppression to Muslim women! They where that chothing because they choose to. Ever have to go w/o wearing underwear for a day? Same feeling. It's something that's grown accustom to, like wearing glasses or an undershirt; you just feel naked w/o it. The "oppression" is mainly the American media trying to pull in a big paycheck w/ a good story.

Where did the idea to fully cover their self come from? Themselves or the Muslim religion? Sorry, but your way of reasoning does not hold water for me.

Read the 10 Commandments in the eariest English translation. Right there it says clearly No idols. In Judaism & Islam (& Protestant Christians, pre-20th century), this Included any statues, paintings, etc. of religious figures.

Look it up, in the time of Martin Luther, statues & Paintings of Jesus, Virgin Mary, etc. where burned, as school children circled around, reciting the 10 commandments.

I really don't understand what this has to do with wearing something that completely covers yourself...

Cheers,

80sFreak

P.S. You also seem to have totally skipped past responding about cartoon rioting....

[atari2600a]

Dude, the whole commandment speech WAS about the cartoon rioting! Not only did the cartoon break the commandment (the one we just got finished discussing), but it depicted the prophet Mohammed (from what I've heard, I haven't looked into the topic) in an extremely crude & offencive matter! Trust me, to these people, this is WAY worse than any blasphemy or murder or some super hybrid sin of the two.

& trust me, in the middle east, if some kid as much as looks a some other kid's sister inappropriately, it becomes a BIG 1-on-1 fight in the street. If someone molests a child, he's killed by angry villagers as soon as possible. If someone steals some food, it's in the local newspaper (The left-hand being cut off is a law in Saudi Arabia, not the whole region as some people believe). If someone makes a cartoon involving as much as a simple drawing of prophet Mohammed in the middle east & published it, he'd probobly be killed &/or executed, or at least a STRONG capitol punishment (though no one's ever done such). That's how big of an offence it is. A riot is nothing.

[Terry Yager]

Children! Look at the top of the page. This is the Humor Forum, and I was only ribbing us all. Don't take my irreverance so seriously. (I see now why our FearlessLeader (wizely) saw fit not to include a forum for religious discussions).

--T

[Terry Yager]

Of course, the question arises, How can anyone draw a cartoon of daProphet when nobody knowz what he really looks like, becauze there are no pictures of him? If I drew a picture of a Panda Bear and labeled it 'Mohammed', would that still be a sin? (Surely, I admit, it would be offensive, but worthy of death???)...

--T

[atari2600a]

Okay, now you're splitting hairs...

Anyways, I'm not a very religious person & can't really awnser these types of questions in detail. I know most of what I know from the Discovery, History, & Science Channel really... Plus, I woke up at 12AM Exactly & haven't fallen asleep since. My motor skills are becoming impaired & if I stay up an hour longer my eyesight will become impaired also.

(All they say about TV rotting your brain, not true! (well at least, it depends on what you watch) It's your Muscles that rot!:p)
(Eyestrain can be prevented (by simply looking at an object 20 feet away for 15 seconds every 20 minutes), & nearsightedness after excessive TV hasn't been scientifically confirmed...yet)

[Terry Yager]

MeToo...but I do try to familliarize myself with other cultures' religious beliefs, and try not to shove my own down anyone else's throat. (Hell, I usually end up 'borrowing' from other religions, and incorporate some of thier beliefs into my own belief system).

Yes, believe it or not, I am not a Ghawdless Heathren!

--T

[atari2600a]

Pretty much the same thing here...

[Terry Yager]

Actually, IMHO, I think the Muslims in general make themselves look bad when they riot and murder people over a *cartoon*. Or forcing women to wear a Niqab thereby "removing" their face and taking away any sense of humanity that person had. :( I saw a group of women a few weeks ago at CostCo with that garb on and one had their son who was wearing regular clothes.. It disgusts me to see the man doing what he wants but the woman have to look totally inferior.

Cheers,

80sFreak

Define 'regular clothes' please. Throughout most of recorded history, a dress (kilt, toga, whatever), was considered 'Manly' attire.

--T

[80sFreak]

Jeans and a T-shirt IIRC...

Cheers,

80sFreak

[Terry Yager]

Oh, like my everyday gear...

--T

[ziloo]

As it has been said in old mythologies:

"Whenever two forces of goodness confront each other,
it is always bad omen! "

By weakening each other, the dark side shall prevail.

So, the answer is Satan :evil: .

[Terry Yager]

As it has been said in old mythologies:

"Whenever two forces of goodness confront each other,
it is always bad omen! "

By weakening each other, the dark side shall prevail.

So, the answer is Satan :evil: .

I'm inclined to agree, since all the other deities would inevitably allign themselves with one side or the other, and the only true winner of such a confrontation would be daDarkSide...

--T

[Terry Yager]

This thread seems to have out-lived it's usefullness as humor, and is being closed to avoid any further flaming activity.

--T