Movie Cliche's

[ziloo]

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Now that we are ranting about Hollywood, here is some stuff I found on the net:

26 things movies have taught us

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8 ) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you the make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18 ) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing dress.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: "Enter Password Now."

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

:biggrin:

[carlsson]

Re 13: isn't there water-proof lipstick? I'm certainly no expert in the subject, but I'd suppose there is something more lasting than usual.

15 and 26: If the movie is made in English, I guess it is for practical reasons they would not speak in a different language, requiring a lot of subtitling or (horror!) dubbing part of the movie. In some movies they speak in different languages, but perhaps not so common in Hollywood productions.

I like how BBC solved the language thing in the TV series 'Allo 'Allo. The French, German, Italian etc spoke English with slight accents. The few English characters spoke in real English unless they were trying to speak "French". The English constaple all the time used the wrong vowels and wrong words, to illustrate his difficulties with the "French" language, like

-"Good mourning!"

[bbcmicro]

lmao

"There is a sosarge in my palicemoans pints"

[carlsson]

I think that actor even had Swedish ancestors, based on his surname. Maybe from the 19th century or even earlier, but still.

[bbcmicro]

Here's another one:

Don't worry if you are outnumbered and surrounded by the enemy, all possesing sub-machine guns and you a small hand-pistol. They always miss you, and you manage to gun down half their number before making a heroic retreat.

[Terry Yager]

Here's another one:

Don't worry if you are outnumbered and surrounded by the enemy, all possesing sub-machine guns and you a small hand-pistol. They always miss you, and you manage to gun down half their number before making a heroic retreat.

...without you or them ever having to reload!

Pop Quiz: How long does it take to empty a 20-round magazine in an M-16, on full auto?

Answer: 2.4 secondz (according to my ol' Drill Trainer, Sgt. Trombley)! AKs, Uzis, Ingrams, etc, all have similar rates of fire. Think about it, next time ya see one of those prolonged Hollywood fire-fights. Within 3 - 4 seconds, everyone is out of ammo...

--T

[Terry Yager]

Exception to the above: When you're watching an ol' gangster movie from prohabition timez, keep in mind that the Thompson gunz they uzed have a lot slower rate of fire than modern weaponz, and thoze big ol' drum magazinez hold a lot of roundz, so a 1 - 1.5 minute gun battle is within the realm of credibility...

--T

[bbcmicro]

Within 3 - 4 seconds, everyone is out of ammo...
If only...

[atari2600a]

I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!

[DimensionDude]

I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!


A corollary to that: all tape decks and recorders (including video) still have sound output when fast winding the tape. Oh, and when searching for a specific point on the tape, the person *always* finds it on the first try.

Kent

[atari2600a]

...at exactly the right moment of recording!

Actually, most VCR's still display video if you fast-forward while playing...

[80sFreak]

A corollary to that: all tape decks and recorders (including video) still have sound output when fast winding the tape. Oh, and when searching for a specific point on the tape, the person *always* finds it on the first try.


I have an old tape recorder/player boombox that if you press the fast forward button *while* the tape is playing you will still have sound while it is zipping along..

Cheers,

80sFreak

[DimensionDude]

I have an old tape recorder/player boombox that if you press the fast forward button *while* the tape is playing you will still have sound while it is zipping along..

Cheers,

80sFreak


Yep, I recall some tape decks having that feature. Most of them called it "cue" and "review." Handy for finding the beginning of a program on a cassette of TRS-80 PC-2 programs.

Kent

[alexkerhead]

I just thought of one: 15 year old mix tapes never suffer from magnetic deterioration & are of CD quality!

A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

[USSEnterprise]

A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

Kind of going off topic, but I have an old Reel to Reel tube recorder that has a screwed up amp. Anyone know of a way to test the tubes without buying a tube tester?

[atari2600a]

A reel to reel tape can hold it's structure for around fifty years(up to 100)
And Reel tapes are CD quality.
Standard cassettes can hold it for up to 35 years.

Maybe, retail "non-pirated" authentic tapes, but not a mix tape recorded on a $2 blank cassette. I'm not saying that the recording will be completely gone, I'm saying it will be barely existant after 15 years. I've heard some mix tapes my step-brother recorded a couple years ago, & today they have no treble.

EDIT: As for reel tapes, it depends on the RPM & tape qualty...

[ziloo]

Gentlemen,

Thank you so very much for all the technical info about reels, tapes, and
etc. But I started this thread as a comic relief in a rather technical
forum. I appreciate if you all join in for a fun break and stick to the topic.

:biggrin:

"As all precious things in life shall be vintage some day,
we should all get out more often and smell the roses..."---old Asian proverb

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All mice clicks in movies, TV and commercials sound like cereal crunching.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
A telephone in a movie always goes back to a ready tone when you get hung up on immediately.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All southerners have an aweful mississippi accent.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All CDs, DVDs, and games load immediately.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
No gun has any recoil when fired.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Star bucks tastes good. (star bucks is nasty compared to good home brew.)

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All web pages and images load scrolling downwards.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Your hair, make-up and spray on tan do not come off in the pool or any water body.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
You can see in the dark with sun glasses on.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All camera flashes make a crunch noise when used.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Cell phones never have service, anywhere.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
People, far into the future will still be petty and greedy.

[ziloo]

Hail to Alex our "Cliche Man"!
What a stamina! one lap after another and another and ...

[alexkerhead]

Hail to Alex our "Cliche Man"!
What a stamina! one lap after another and another and ...

lol, give me a day to come up with more.
Movies tick me off, they cliche everything...hehe

oh, and-
Cliche:

All nerds, geeks, and dorks eat copious amounts of hot pockets.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All hackers have 3-4 monitors with some kind of unknown code running.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All Alabamians live in either a trailor or plantation home.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Flashlights turn off without warning.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
The life of one little girl is worth the life of 10 innocent bistandards.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Normal people know everything about video editing.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Moms are always hot with firm breasts.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
All Russians are tall and blonde.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Germans are all up to no good.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Living with your parents means you're a virgin.

[alexkerhead]

Cliche:
Big old houses are haunted.

Enough for now, but I got a lot more.

[dongfeng]

Also remember that if you spill a drink on your computer it gains magical powers :D

Remember Electric Dreams?

[ziloo]

lol ... That's right! How about the movie Short Circuit?

[sbrown]

All image editing/forensics programs in movies can, against all odds, enlarge and sharpen an image so that an area of a single pixel can be resolve into a ultra-high resolution headshot of the bad guy. Bonus points if this can be done on what appears to be a regular desktop computer and in real time.

[ziloo]

Nice one, sbrown!
Remember the movie Blade Runner?

[atari2600a]

lol ... That's right! How about the movie Short Circuit?

Johnny 5 is alive!

[bbcmicro]

"disassemble-reassemble!" - st00pit robot.

What is a hot pocket?

Cliché;
If you use a montage, then you can get real good at something in one day that would normally take years of dedicated practise (as shown by a certain film)

Cliché;
A good actor can never mime playing an instrument well.

[atari2600a]

You don't have hot pockets in England? They're about the size of a burrito, & have tomato sauce, cheese, & pepperoni inside them. (plus they're microwavable)

By the way, I bet you got the montage cliche from Team America! (I have the PM's to prove it!)

"We need a montage, MONTAGE!"
*films self shaving & working out & edits it in Adobe Premiere Pro 2*





...Was "Team America: World Police" released in the UK?
Yup, got a copy somewhere
Utterly tasteless, offensive, disgusting, yet oddly amusing...
Of course, it all pro-american propaganda!

Well, that was the point of the movie! Just like King of The Hill (if you've seen the cartoon) is all pro-Texas propaganda. F*ck yeah!
Huzzah!

[sbrown]

yeah, ziloo, I remember Blade Runner & the scene you're refering to.

However the only other movie I can bring to mind at the moment and remember the name of with an example of this is Star Trek III. I can't conjure up any of the bad spy/thriller/let's have a chase movies I was thinking of.

[carlsson]

A good actor can never mime playing an instrument well.
Ah, true. I saw some episode of an teenager TV series (dunno what it was) and they had a school orchestra. The girls who mimed to play the flute didn't even have it next to their mouth, but more in line with the chin!

[bbcmicro]

Often, if it is a vioin or guitar or a woodwind instrument, the fingers are moved at random to random places of the fingerboard/fretboard/instrument body often with complete disregard to the melody they are supposed to be playing. It annoys me even more when I know how it should be done.

[carlsson]

OTOH, I've been to performances where the musicians moved their fingers more or less randomly over the instrument. It is called free form (jazz).

[bbcmicro]

True, but the right notes come out.